Riding the wave

All this time. Time in our heads, time on our hands. Feeling guilty about what we should/shouldn’t be doing or what we are currently doing. Being cross at what others are doing/not doing. What others have that we don’t have. Jealousy, anger, confusion, happiness, boredom, content. I’ve overwhelmed my brain so many times! I’m sure many of you are also learning a lot about yourselves and if you’re lucky to be with someone, you’re learning about them too. How our brains work, what ticks us off, what switches us on, what gives us energy and hope. What pushes us into deep dark holes and what helps us out of them. We are all handling this situation in different ways. I’ve finally decided, there is nothing else we can do but ride out this wave. Somedays the wave is like a tsunmani, other days it’s like a foamy, sometimes the waves just come from everywhere and then it may just be a nice wave to ride. We have no idea where the waves are taking us, it’s beyond our control. We can only decide whether to carry on riding it or fight it and us sea dwellers know it is extremely hard to fight waves and currents. Worrying and stressing about what may or may not happen is just causing more stomach churning anxiety. I will ride each wave as it comes daily and try tackle whatever it brings with it.

However, waves can be overwhelming, you may even have dreams of drowning or being stuck on a sinking ship. It has happened to me so many times. Especially now, when we feel as if we have no control of anything. During the early stages of our lockdown, I did this very interesting free online psychology course. I wrote down some points and left it at that. I was so uninspired to learn and be productive. A few weeks ago, I found my notes and actually couldn’t believe the stuff I had listened to but hadn’t processed in my brain. How often does this happen in life! Our brains get too busy to actually realise how important information may be.

There were so many ”pearls of wisdom” on this piece of paper that I thought I would share because I think it can definitely help a few overwhelmed brains out there. It may also help with some wave riding 🙂

• Craving and clinging may lead to suffering. It is so hard to read or hear, but take a step back and reflect. We cling to so many things in life and when they are taken away we suffer, naturally. Hence my many days of introspection. How can I be happy, when things are taken away?

• Start to recognize people and things beyond your scope of thought ie. Old people on a sidewalk, trees, the wind. The taste and texture of food. Are we taking time to eat and enjoy our food or are we mindlessly watching TV whilst gobbling it up. Can we sit outside and listen to the birds or do we get easily distracted?

• If you’re stuck in a negative thought say, “This is not mine, this is not myself and this I am not”. This situation is beyond our control. You cannot do anything to control it. We are all overwhelmed with emotions, feelings and judgement towards others. If it helps you, then great.

• Jealously and anger: don’t think of it as yours. Especially now! Disown it. Dont let these two control your thoughts and behaviour. Social media, especially, may be responsible for cultivating these feelings.

• Thoughts. Those lovely overwhelming brain “things”. Be mindful of your thoughts and not lost in them. Thoughts are like actors, so don’t get pulled into the drama of them. When your feelings are strong, thoughts seem more real. E.g. You are frustrated with your lockdown situation and then you see somone running without a mask or groups of people gathering on the street corner. How strong are your feelings now?

• The hard one. Meditation. A lot of people are trying it, a lot of people don’t have the mental capacity for it, a lot don’t know how to even do it. Sometimes we may do it without even knowing. So in terms of having negative thoughts or feelings and being overwhelmed in waves of thought, I have some advice. Use the RAIN acronym. Recognize the feeling/thought. Allow it to be there. Investigate it, why is it there and associate with those feelings. Note those feelings in your body: tensions burning, restlessness. Is anything that you are feeling associated with cravings or clinging? Remember, “the cat will keep coming to the door if you feed it”. See the thought before identifying with it. Observe it and weaken it. Dont feed it. I have been investigating meditation, so far I believe it is a place in your head that is still, it can be infinity. Meditation has been shown to decrease our reactions to things. I definitely need to include it more into my daily routine.

• Behaviour is an output with regards to all our input. What are you allowing yourself to be consumed in/with during these hard times? Is it social media, is it gossip on your whatsapp groups, is it a certain series on Netflix? How can this all affect our behaviour?

A little something to think about 🙂